My Sweet Boy

I spend a lot of time in close contact with my boy. Either carrying him in the Moby or watching him sleep next to me or in my lap. We're getting into a routine and it's nice to know what I can expect. Typically, after he finishes nursing he's extremely happy. We're talking giddy. Jake and I think his smiles look like he's intoxicated on breast milk. It's adorable. We usually spend a good 10 to 15 minutes just hanging out and talking, me with words, him with adorable noises and coos. After that he will be chill for maybe 30 to 45 minutes or so. This is when I can easily put him in his bouncer or on the boppy and leave him alone for a bit to get things done. After that, he starts to get a little agitated. He can feel sleepiness coming on and he's not willing to give in. Eventually, that turns into full blown anger as he fights sleep. Finally, after some coaxing, he falls asleep and wakes up to repeat the cycle. I love this little guy.

Dad & Lad time

Jake's dad and brother came for a visit so they could meet Izzy. There was a whole lot of dude time going on. I was seriously outnumbered. 

They ate a maple bacon donut. I just had to post a picture.

 This picture makes me curious to see if Izzy will have some of those Paurus features

Jake's side job laying hardwood floors was slow this week so he and Israel got to spend a lot of time together. I love seeing my 'boys' hang out. Jake is forever making up little songs and raps to calm Izzy down when he gets fussy. He's always willing to take over when he's crying and even carry him around in our Moby wrap baby carrier. I'm so thankful that we're doing this as a team and that I'm not alone as we raise our son. I don't know what I would do without him! He's been cooking and cleaning and taking such good care of our family when I'm tired or busy nursing. Jake is such a great father and I'm so excited to see how his relationship with Israel will grow over the years.

Old photos, Fresh thoughts

These shots are from a couple weeks ago when some of Jake's family was here visiting. Our brother in-law snapped a few photos of my wee babe. He changes so fast! The sleeper he's wearing in these pictures is very tight on him now and is so short he can't stretch out his legs! I feel like the 4th photo doesn't even look like him, but it's real cute so I had to share.

This transition into motherhood has been an interesting one. Challenging at times, exciting, rewarding, sobering, humbling, terrifying, all enhanced by raging hormones and beginning with one life changing moment. I'm a mom now, and I always will be. Right now Israel is snoring (congested) peacefully next to me and I keep staring at him with a complex mixture of emotions. It's amazing how one little person can alter your life so thoroughly!

For every hard aspect of being a mom, there's a handful of priceless moments. He makes me smile without doing anything special. I feel so rich. My heart is full to overflowing and I am excited for the journey to come.

4 weeks

I have a 4 week old baby!

Oh my goodness, can this really be true!? Wasn't I just pregnant like yesterday?

Me and Israel are a real team. We're learning how to do life together as mom and son, and I like it. 

Sometimes all I want to do is sit at home with him, because doing anything else sounds too overwhelming.

Other times, all I want to do is get out of the house, because sitting in our living room in my sweat pants and greasy hair has gone on long enough. 

Either way, I love being with him. 

He's growing so fast and I'm trying desperately to take it all in. 

He seems long. Really long. 

He nurses

He poops

He sleeps

He grunts, oh how he loves to grunt

He squirms

He flails his arms

He kicks his legs

He proudly holds his head up every chance he can get

He gets real red in the face for a few seconds before he starts to cry or poop

He has baby acne

He's wearing cloth diapers now

He makes the cutest face when he coughs and I melt every time (Jake was really concerned about this one. "As long as you're not making him cough")

I love every moment I have with this precious one

What's in a Name?

When Jake and I found out we were having a boy, we started getting a little more serious about picking out a name. I knew that it was something I needed to pray about, believing that God wanted to give us a name with a lot of meaning. Almost immediately I felt led to a particular passage of scripture that meant a lot to me.

Psalm 24: 3-6
Who may ascend into the hill of the Lord?
Or who may stand in His holy place?
4 He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
Who has not lifted up his soul to an idol,
Nor sworn deceitfully.
5 He shall receive blessing from the Lord,
And righteousness from the God of his salvation.
6 This is Jacob, the generation of those who seek Him,
Who seek Your face.

David is making a really interesting statement in this Psalm, that can be easily bypassed if you're not looking for it, (now, I don't receive any credit for the following revelation, I heard this passage taught on many times by the director of the house of prayer here). He's saying that the kind of person that may stand before God has to follow certain criteria. Clean hands, pure heart, no idols, no lying. Pretty hard things to attain. In fact, seemingly impossible. Then, David has the audacity to say "This is Jacob, the generation of those who seek Him." Wait a second, wasn't Jacob pretty deceitful? After all the junk he did that we read about in the Old Testament (took advantage of his brother, tricked his father, was a coward and sent his family and servants before Esau instead of facing his brother himself, etc) you would think he'd be the last person described as having a "pure heart." So, what is David saying here? What does he know that we don't? 

In Genesis 32 we find the story of when Jacob wrestled with God (was it God? or an angel? I'm not sure and I've heard both). At the end of their encounter, Jacob insists that this 'Man' bless him. Then, another funny thing happens. The 'Man' asks what Jacob's name is. Now, this person, who is either an angel or God, definitely knew what Jacob's name was. So, what was He asking? He was saying "Who do you say you are?" "How do you define yourself" The name Jacob means 'deceiver.' His name said it all. But, God had other things in mind. "Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed." God gives Jacob a new name. A new identity. It's like he's saying "Yes, Jacob is what you were; a deceiver, a liar. But now, you are Chosen!" 

God restores us! He takes something ugly and dirty and sinful and makes it new! Like David said in the Psalm, He makes us clean and gives us the fresh opportunity to be pure. He calls us His and gives us a new purpose. He sees the beginning from the end. He knows the end of our story and He calls us to walk in that identity now! This is the gospel in its' purest form. Though we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Christ chose the ungodly even though they did nothing to deserve it. Jacob was given a new name and identity even though his history said otherwise. 

So, that's the story. Our son Israel isn't named after a people group or a nation, but after his daddy; Jacob. This new little life is our constant reminder that God can redeem anyone and anything. My husband, Jake, grew up living a double life, deceiving many and living for his own gain. Then his life was turned upside down by the man Jesus and he'll never be the same again. Now he is chosen and set apart, and it seemed fitting for his first son to be a picture of just that; redemption. May he walk in that reality and that calling all the days of his life. 

Israel's birth story

The story of Israel's entrance into the world starts about 2 weeks before he came. I got sick. Real sick. I'm talking probably the worst cold I've ever had. I just couldn't seem to kick it and ended up laying around doing almost nothing the week before his arrival. During my first appointment after my due date came and went, the midwife informed me that it is very rare for women to go into labor while they are sick. This could be seen as a good thing and a bad thing. Good because going into labor while you're sick as a dog sounds terrible! Bad because I was already past my due date and it wasn't looking like I was getting better any time soon.
When I was 8 days late, I went in for an appointment so they could do a NST, basically just checking on the baby to make sure he's doing ok and not under stress. During that appointment, the midwife suggested I start thinking about natural induction methods. Her suggestion was something called a Foley Bulb. The basic idea is that they insert a balloon into your uterus, fill it with water, which allows your cervix to dilate about 4 cms. If all goes according to plan, labor would start and progress normally and 'naturally.' I had never heard of this method and was really taken off guard when she said "Hey, if you wanted, we could do it right now!" Jake and I both didn't feel at peace about doing it that day, I was still feeling pretty sick. So, we knew our next appointment was on Thursday (this was Monday at the time) and we had to make a decision by then.
Tuesday morning came and I sensed a significant change in my health. I felt much more energized and some of my symptoms seemed to be doing better. Throughout the day Jake and I talked over and prayed about all of our options. I didn't feel at peace about doing anything to make little Izzy come sooner than he was ready, and I prayed he would come on his own before Thursday. I fell asleep Tuesday night with a ton of peace as I trusted God to arrange the arrival of my son at just the right time.
I woke up Wednesday morning at around 7 a.m. and the first words out of my mouth were "Jake, I think I might have wet the bed."My super sweet and sleepy husband replies "It's ok baby, we'll take care of it." haha. As I stand up to assess the damage and make my way to the toilet, the floodgates were opened and I was made very aware that this was most definitely not pee and instead my water breaking.  Yes! Things were getting started!
I call the birth center and calmly inform them that my water broke, but since 7 a.m. is technically the "middle of the night" for us night-watchers, I asked that I be able to stay at home for a while and sleep. Because I tested positive for GBS, (Group B Strep, an infection found in 30% of healthy women. You'll never know you have it unless you're tested for it and there are no side affects for mommy. However, it can be dangerous if baby gets it) the midwife said I would need to come in by at least noon so they could start IV fluids to keep baby safe. I hang up the phone and go to sleep for the next 3 hours! I woke up for contractions, but then quickly fell asleep as soon as they were over. What a blessing! I woke up around 10:30 to the birth center calling and a different midwife telling me she'd really like me to come in sooner rather than later (because of being GBS+) and to make our way out. We were hesitant to make the 45 minute drive if my labor was not progressing and they decide to send us home. We were not thrilled about the thought of doing that much driving, so we hoped and prayed that I would be able to spend the rest of my labor at the birth center.
I laid in the backseat of the car and could tell that things were getting a little more serious. My contractions were coming every 4 minutes or so and were lasting well over a minute each. Jake did a great job of driving carefully, minus the sneaky speed bump that he hit full speed while I was in the middle of a contraction. Yikes! We arrived at the birth center at around 1 o'clock and I had to stop in the middle of the waiting room and hunch over on a bench, (laden with Amish bonnets and capes. Yep, that's the kind of birth center I went to) while a hefty contraction rolled over me. The nurse was very excited to see that and exclaimed "Wow! This looks promising!" I liked her a lot.
Once in the birthing room, they strapped me to an IV for 15 minutes and checked me out. The words that came out of the midwife's mouth were some of the most welcomed I've ever heard; "You're 7 cms dilated already!" Praise God! I knew you had to be 6 cm dilated to get in the birth pool so I quickly told them to get the tub ready!
So, I got in the tub and took one contraction at a time. Jake did awesome! Seriously, I was so impressed with my husband. He was so attentive to my needs, patient, and encouraging. I felt like I had my biggest fan right next to me and I could do anything. He remembered all the details from our birth classes and was so confident even when I wasn't. He held me up while I labored in the tub, dabbed a wet wash cloth on my forehead, and offered me sips of water and ginger ale all along the way. We truly were a team for this momentous occasion.
Around 3:30 I started feeling the urge to push. Those contractions were rough. The midwife and nurse were pretty hands-off and would leave us alone most of the time and check in here and there. I told Jake to go get one of them because I definitely felt ready to push. The midwife came in and checked me and I was fully dilated! Hooray! So, around 4 p.m. I started to push.
I felt filled with a fresh energy and excitement as I got to work with my body rather than just sit there as contractions came and went. For the first time in a while, I was so thankful for all the time, effort, and money I put into athletics all during elementary, middle, and high school. Labor is most definitely an athletic event and I was so thankful for the endurance and drive I cultivated over those years. I prayed a lot during that hour and 20 minutes of pushing.
During my last push, (I was very unaware it would be my last) the midwife took her hand away for a split second and little Izzy came shooting out, Superman style (arm up by his head) much to everyone's surprise. I started laughing hysterically and Jake wept as he was brought up to my chest and took his first breath. We stared at our son in disbelief and awe and praised God for this little miracle.
Because of his abrupt entrance and his arm being up by his head, I tore pretty bad and am having a slightly tougher recovery. Even though I can get anxious some days by my inactivity, I'm actually thankful for this time of forced rest to bond with my son and soak up these precious moments. They grow so quickly and I don't want to miss anything! I am so grateful for the birth experience I had and I look back on it with fondness. I know the presence of God was with me the whole time and I'm thankful for His perfect timing. Birth is a miracle and I'm thankful to have finally experienced it.

My apologies for the picture overload. I was having a hard time picking just one.