Doors

This is my sixth day home in Pennsylvania. Things are not the way I expected, but still good. I found out on Monday that the House of Prayer internship I was planning on doing is being postponed until January due to a lack of interest. That was a shocking blow at first. What does one do when you think you hear from God something specific, and then the door shuts abruptly? I'm learning that you keep going the way you were before, choosing not to lean on your own understanding of what's going on, but trusting God for everything. Now, I'm feeling the pressure to find a job so that I feel like I have some purpose here. But, until that happens, I'll just focus on what God has blessed me with for this season; lots and lots of time with my nephews :)

New!

This past week or so has been full of new things and new life. I love it! On Saturday I graduated from BCOM, officially ending one season and preparing for a fresh start in Pennsylvania.

Then, on Sunday my very close friends McKenzie and Jeff got married finally! It was a beautiful wedding and I'm so thankful I got to be apart of it!

Also, on August 10th little Selah Marcellus was born to two other very close friends. I'm currently in Green Bay Wisconsin to visit the new parents and their bundle of joy. It's been so relaxing and fun to be here!

And last, but certainly not least, on Monday I started dating one of my best friends in the whole wide world, Jacob Paurus. We've been through Teen Mania, Bethany, and Austria together and now look forward to see what God has next. He's so special to me and to say that I'm excited would be an understatement.

Palpable

This summer I have experienced the palpable presence of God unlike I ever have before. Not necessarily some huge display, but my heart still knows the difference. I was becoming so accustomed to my relationship with God being more often a struggle and less often a quiet and confident trust. Things have changed, and I like it that way. I'm beginning to really look forward to what God has next. Who knows!?!

Tomorrow is my last day of class and practical training here at Bethany College of Missions. On Sunday the seniors leave for a short grad-retreat before we pack up our belongings and prepare to head out. Next Saturday we graduate, Sunday I'm a bridesmaid, Monday I'm an adventurer, and Tuesday I'm traveling to Green Bay Wisconsin to visit some wonderful friends who will soon be parents. Friday, August 20th, I return to Pennsylvania completely unsure of when I'll be leaving again. This is a strange season indeed.

Just one step at a time...

Cut through the fog!

Thank you very much to all who have been praying for me to hear from God about my future. It looks like I will be returning to Pennsylvania at least for four months to reconnect with family and to spend time at Gateway House of Prayer. To send me home for only four months without vision past that seemed really scary to me at first. The thought of just living in my parents house and working a random job always seemed like a formula for disaster. The House of Prayer internship sounded good but I didn't want to risk having no vision for what came after. God showed me that I can always trust Him for the next steps. When the Israelites were in the desert God told them only to gather enough bread for one day. He wanted them to trust Him for each day's provision. The next four months will be some awesome set apart time for me and God and I know He will show me what comes after that. He is so faithful to me and I'm ok with only knowing a small portion. I can't wait to see what He has in store for me next!

Fuzzy thoughts

It's time. I need to update. Life has been pretty uneventful in some ways lately. I've spent a lot of time on homework and it seems like that's how the rest of my time here will be. I'm still waiting on God about future plans, so that has taken up a lot of time, attention, and energy.

In more exciting news, I got a concussion today (got a concussion? Is that the right wording? Received a concussion? Had a concussion? Was given a concussion?) ! Don't worry, I wasn't in a fight or anything eventful like that. I was actually dusting. So now I'm just going through the foggy buzzy feeling I have in my mind that has actually enabled me to have a blissfully enjoyable evening! I know this may sound crazy, but I feel like my Spirit has been a lot sharper today while my mind and reflexes are a little lagging. If that's the case, I wouldn't mind getting knocked on the noggin more often! Maybe this is a small example of God's strength being made perfect in our weakness...

And the grand finale of the post.... pictures of my newest nephew! He's eight months old now and recently got some professional photos taken. Seriously, I'm trying not to be biased, but he's one of the cutest kids I've ever seen, thunder thighs and all!

P.S. Hi Caleb.

Roller coaster

This weekend was a lot of fun. Friday night we had an outdoor movie showing. Saturday was full of beach and fireworks. Sunday had a nice slow start with church and time alone with parks,cook outs and fireworks to finish the day. Monday we woke up, made waffles, went for a walk to a Finnish Bistro, and just relaxed. It was a good weekend.

If you think to pray for me I would appreciate it very much. I'm in the final week of the class where we write the paper dealing with our futures. I know this isn't about the class, but I still feel like I should expect God to give me some clarity on what's next soon. I'm feeling a bit 'moody' about all of my options lately. It seems like every other day (or even hour!) I've changed how I feel about certain aspects or ideas I'm leaning towards. I know I can't base any decisions about my future off of emotions, but this roller coaster is really draining. I trust that my Father will come through not a moment too late, I just want to be in the right place when He does.