Gaze shifting

Life is strange. It is unusual. I have never experienced anything like this before.

Balance is something that I'm seeking to have right now. I want to be balanced in the amount of time I spend doing different things. I want to have balance in my money spending and saving. I want to have balance in the amount of effort I put forth in fundraising. Maybe balance isn't the right word for what I'm looking for but it's usually how I describe it to people.

I want to be always yielded to God. I want my inner gaze to always be on the Lord. I want to be peacefully abiding and resting in my Savior. I'm having such a hard time doing that. And I feel old tendancies creeping up. It's sort of like that feeling you get when you know there's a thousand legger under your bed. You're always aware that he's under there and could come out at any moment. In fact, you've seen glimpses of him here and there and you weren't quick enough to squash him. Or you were too scared to squash him....

I must find Him.

Here and there

So I've been home for a little over a month now. It's definitely been an interesting transition to say the least. I came home and did my best to make my room a place of refuge. When I left for the Honor Academy in August of 2006 my room was still full of high school and middle school memories that were never sorted through or thrown away. The last few times I came home over this past year at BCOM I tried to go through those things and get rid of junk. I ended up giving 2 or 3 bags of clothes to Goodwill and a ton of trash to the trash can. So many old notes and other random artifacts that I wouldn't ever need or use again. It brought up a lot of emotions and old memories but I'm really glad I did it. This is what my room looks like now.

After one week of being at home the Lord provided a job for me. I work a few blocks away at Weaver Industries. My dad works there as a sales man and helped get me an office assistant job there. I really enjoy the people there and the work is pretty simple. I get to use a lot of the skills that I got while working for Teen Mania. I thoroughly enjoy the relaxing walk or bike ride to and from work every day.

I've been trying to connect with some of my friends that I left two years ago here and there. We all have very different lives and schedules now so it's a bit hard to get together. For the most part I spend my time at home and it's become rather lonely at times. I know God wants to teach me a lot during this season of "aloneness" so I'm trusting in His judgement and timing.

I also just got back from a vacation with my parents to Ocean City Maryland. It was the most unique vacation I've ever been on. Usually both my sisters and their husbands come a long on vacations and I bring a friend, but this time it was just my parents and I. The weather was lovely for the most part and I wouldn't replace bonding with my parents for anything.

Why a blog?

I've been realizing lately that staying in touch with friends and family will be a bit of a challenge. I want to be able to give a more indepth picture of what my life looks like to my curious onlookers and friends. I hope to update this blog on a fairly regular basis while I venture on to the next phases of my life.

The title of my blog is "My meanderings..."
me·an·dered, me·an·der·ing, me·an·ders: To follow a winding and turning course

I truly believe that the course that God has for me will take me around many bends and turns. Looking forward to the surprises and escapades that await me, I will scrawl my thoughts, plans, and ruminations on this here blog.