Why not!?!

Why not? This simple phrase has been on my mind and repeated out of my mouth very often in the past months. This question might be asked in an atmosphere of liberty, such as a "do whatever you want" mindset or you might here it coming out of the mouth of a thwarted child after being told "nope." But for me, this expression has popped up in a very different setting. Being a part of this House of Prayer internship has stretched me in many ways. I've heard so many testimonies in the past few months, either from books, speakers, sermons, class settings, peers etc. of God coming through in miraculous ways. Whether it be some sort of healing of their body, a divine dream or encounter with an angel, raising people from the dead, or supernatural provisions, I've heard a little bit of everything. At the end of the story, as I'm about to shake my head in disbelief mixed with amusement, a nagging voice inside of me says these words: "Why not!?!" "Why not, Lindy? Why wouldn't I do those things? Is my arm too short? Have I changed?" That little voice from God has become stronger lately and less and less 'polite' for lack of a better word. I sort of feel the frustration that Jesus showed in Mark when His disciples couldn't cast a demon out of a boy. He says to them “You unbelieving generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you?"  They had seen miracle after miracle from Jesus before this point. They had been sent out two by two healing the sick, raising the dead, and casting out demons with great success! The disciples' lack of faith grieved Jesus. Why would God be willing to do all those amazing things during Bible times but not now? He hasn't changed!  In fact, we should expect even greater things to happen! (John 14:12-13 Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.) So why don't we see those things? If God hasn't changed, then I have a feeling it has to do with us. The gospels tell us that faith hindered Jesus in doing the work He wished to do (Matthew 13:58 And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.) We also read that over and over again Jesus was moved by the person's faith and thus healed them. I'm starting to realize that the sin of unbelief is a really big deal to God and He has some pretty strong feelings about it (Revelation 21:8 "...But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”) So then, how do we grow our faith? I feel like such an infant in the area of faith and am aware of my lack in a way that has left me sober and desperate for change. I'm going to start by devouring the Word of God and allowing that to renew my mind and change my 'lean' off of my own understanding and on to God's all powerful awesomeness. I want faith to pour out of my mouth and cease to 'curse' myself with doubt and unbelief. Faith is an active and intentional thing that I need to stop being lazy about but instead walk in faith even when it seems dangerous, illogical, foolish and unreasonable.
This only seems to touch the surface of why I feel so desperate for an increased faith. Here are some other brief snippets of why it is crucial
We are justified by faith (Romans 1:27-28)
We receive the promise of the Spirit through faith (Galatians 3:14)
We walk by faith and not by sight aka your 5 senses really don't cut it (2 Cor. 5:7)
We overcome the world by faith (1 John 5:4)
And that's just to name a few! Why aren't we seeing mountains being moved, trees being uprooted, dead being raised, sickness being healed, oppression being defeated, abundant provision being lavished, and the Kingdom of Light taking it's rightful place where the Kingdom of darkness once resided?? Doesn't that disturb you at all??
 Oh Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief!