Simple and Pure Devotion

Jake and I are getting married October first, and the date is quickly approaching. Some people think we are crazy for having such a short engagement, but for me it seemed crazy to spend so much time planning for ONE day. I'd much rather have to-do lists and deadlines and projects on my mind for 3 months rather than 6 months. It's been a challenge to allow my soul to be at rest during this somewhat fast paced, chaotic, and new season. There were tears cried and many moments of doubt, anxiety and frustration. I came to a breaking point about a week ago where I realized that I cannot go on living like this for the rest of the summer. Jake and I prayed together and he prayed some of Hebrews 12 over me. The next day as I was spending time in the secret place with God, I felt like I should write down some verses from that passage of scripture and carry them around with me while at work and so such. As I meditated on the verses about how God disciplines His children so much revelation came. It talks about how we should endure hardship as discipline, and seeing as the past few weeks have been full of hard times, I figured that God had some discipline in mind. It talks about how discipline isn't pleasant, but it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who are trained by it. I prayed and asked God how I can be trained by this time and how I can receive this kind of harvest. Instantly I thought of the verses about sowing and reaping, and how God cannot be mocked, you always reap what you sow. I became sobered by the reality that how I sow during this season of engagement will affect my harvest in marriage. I don't want to sow doubt, anxiety, fear, apathy, and a distraction with worthless things into the soil of my heart, and that was the path that I was headed down. Then God showed me how engagement is a picture of our time here on earth. We are betrothed to the King of Kings and we wait for the day when we are one with Him. This life is a time of preparation and expectant waiting and similarly, we sow in this life to reap a reward on the day we stand before God. This new vision and purpose for these next 3 months was exactly what I needed. I want to plant down deep in my heart worship, and prayer, and thanksgiving, and faith, and love during this season of engagement so that my marriage will be blessed with righteousness and peace! I want to store up treasures in Heaven during this season, living my life for the age to come, not for any gain I can receive in this life. The last section of scripture I meditated on that day was Hebrews 12:12-13 - Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. “Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. I took that as a challenge to be purposeful and intentional during this trying time. If I want to walk the narrow road I need to violently make a way. Not violence that you can see, but a steady determination to not give in to the spirit of the age, or to busyness and distraction. I have to live a deliberate life in how I spend my time, in what I think about and even how I plan a wedding. I want God to receive all the glory in this celebration and I'm resolved to make it happen.