So, this is Christmas

This was my first ever Christmas away from home and boy oh boy was it interesting. We all knew that our team was the closest thing to family we have and decided to make sure that Christmas Eve and Day were spent all together. We did the usual things, watch A Muppet's Christmas Carol, ate food, made cookies, decorated the house, bought a Christmas tree, gave and received gifts, had a massive pillow fight, you know, all the "usuals."

There were of course some very unusual things about Christmas that stood out the most. Being away from family, friends, and my home-church really made things feel strange. I was able to Skype with my family, which is still a technological miracle to me, but it definitely wasn't the same.

On Christmas Eve however, I did receive something that made the strangeness of this week completely worth it.

On December 24th while everyone else in my apartment was cooking and preparing for our evening festivities, I was alone in my room spending some much needed time with God. I've felt so strongly lately how important it is to meet with God first thing in the morning. He's been showing me the importance of being faithful, day to day, and I felt so strongly my need for His presence on Christmas Eve. This day could so easily be filled with hustle and bustle of cooking, wrapping, and other things and I didn't want that to be the case. I knelt down by my bed to beg for His grace and strength for the day when....

God showed up. Mightily. Powerfully. Thinking about it makes my hair stand on end.

I came away from that time with an even stronger burden to know Him. To know Him in and out. To meditate on the Word day and night. To be more aware of what is to come. For the first time in my life I could honestly and wholeheartedly, with no hesitations or regrets say I didn't want any other life than one dedicated to following my Lord and Savior. I'm in this no matter what and there's no turning back.

This moment with Him was so timely due to some of the things that had been going on in my mind in the weeks leading up to this. I had been thinking so much about my past, that I'm not too proud of, and a bit concerned about whether or not I've truly changed. I was afraid that I was going to go back to my old way of life in the future because I didn't feel really committed. Now I am assured. God's plans for me are not going to be messed up by my apathy and trouble with commitment. He loves me and will keep me even with my mess ups, failures, doubts, and selfishness.

He never fails me. My eyes are set, my pace is steady, I'm singing a new song.