Pregnancy, Contentment, and Thanksgiving

Our culture has greatly lost it's value on life over the last few decades. Some of this can be attributed to the spiritual atmosphere created when millions of babies are being aborted in our midst, and laws are passed to legalize this action. Some of the loss of the value of life is affected by our culture's insatiable hunger for comfort. Children can cause discomfort (cost money, take away free time, lack of sleep, minimizes social life etc.) and so the general trend over the last years is to have very few children and much later in life. That's not really what I'm here to talk about, but it does set the stage and give a backdrop for the things I've been pondering.

Pregnancy seems to carry such a negative tone. At some points throughout these last 9 months, I've almost felt like people don't know how to talk about pregnancy unless it's in a complaining or negative way. It's almost like "word vomit." The comments and questions start spilling out of their mouth before they even think about it. This is men and women included. How did we get to this point? How did the incredible season of carrying a precious life inside your body become such a 'buzz word'? I think the view on life that I explained earlier plays a huge part in that, but I also think we pregnant women must share in the blame.

Pregnancy does not give us a free pass for complaint. 

There, I said it. I know for some people that may be really hard to swallow, because, of course, there are so many seemingly justifiable reasons for grumbling during that 9 month period. There are trying moments emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually with pregnancy. It's not easy! There are lists of symptoms that may or may not affect you that seem to go on forever. And then of course, it all comes to a climax in the beautiful long awaited birth, which is one of the most meaningful and special moments of your life, and also one of the most painful. Trust me, I understand all of that. However, death and life are in the power of the tongue (Prv. 18:21) It matters so much how we talk about things. Not only for the benefit and edification of the listener, but also for ourselves. James 3:3-5 " When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts." We can change our circumstances, to a degree, by how we talk about them. I'm not trying to say "Just fake it till you make it," I think that's poor advice most of the time. What I'm saying, is that we can choose what we focus on when we respond to people, and our outlook on our circumstances will align accordingly. For example, over the last few weeks the common question or comment I receive from people goes something like this, "Aren't you just so ready to not be pregnant any more?" or "I bet you can't wait to be done." These people mean well in their asking, but it does come with a distinct flavor of pregnancy being a miserable thing that one should eagerly anticipate the end of. So, now I get to choose how I respond. Of course there are some perks about not being pregnant that I look forward to, but am I going to let those desires consume me and cause me to finish out my pregnancy in misery and increased emotional suffering? No way! I calmly tell people, that I want my baby boy to come whenever he's ready and I'm willing to wait as long as that takes. That change in perspective makes a world of difference and I truly do mean that when I say it.

Complaint gives Satan a window to allow bitterness and discontentment flood into every area of our lives. Thanksgiving is our means to fight against this onslaught and believe it or not, it's for our own benefit!

There is so much to be thankful for! I have the humbling privilege of carrying a life inside of me. There is a miracle going on in my body for 9 months and I can't help but praise God as I learn about all the intricate ways he made our bodies to function. My body is reacting perfectly to the changes that are going on inside of me. Yes, I may not like all of those reactions, but they are what enables my womb to sustain life! God made this process and it is beautiful! And this complex and elaborate method isn't the only thing to marvel at. That is my son being formed in there! My son! What a precious gift! I would do anything for his benefit. There isn't a price too large to pay for this little man who I haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet. And, of course, there are some women who desperately desire to have children and are unable to. I can't imagine the pain that they must feel. I must be all the more grateful that I am able to bear children and thank God for this opportunity.

I've enjoyed being pregnant as a whole and hope that other girls who haven't yet embarked on the journey of motherhood feel encouraged and less afraid about it because of the way I carry myself and communicate about this season. It is a gloriously beautiful adventure and I hope to say that for each child I carry.

NOTE
To be clear: My intention in writing this post was to address 2 issues: one of them being the battle between complaint and thanksgiving and how that affects our circumstances, and the other being the value of life/pregnancy. I want to make it clear that I in no way assume that people who have had children later on in life, or who have only had one or two kids have a "lesser value" on life. I mentioned those two scenarios as a trend that some have gotten into only because they see children as a nuisance or a hindrance. Family's circumstances or the will of God could mean they wait longer to have children or that they stop after only one child. There is nothing wrong with waiting or with having a smaller family, my concern was the thought process and the motives behind that choice. Also, I want to reiterate that my stance about complaint and thanksgiving in the midst of any hard situation does not negate, belittle or invalidate the challenge that the person is facing. I'm not saying that you shouldn't feel frustrated by tough symptoms or even that you shouldn't look forward to your situation being over. I'm merely challenging us (myself included) to choose to be thankful in every circumstance, even when everything around you seems to go against it. Thanksgiving is a hard choice, but so worth it.